attention to detail

2009-03-06 - 12:14 p.m.

I have dreams about how the dead can be brought back to this existence and whenever Katie is around I hug her immediately, as if my life is racked with self ambiguity and a lack of identity awareness, an enduring accumulation that surrenders to the certainty manifested in the approach to her. Our arms being around one another confirm that I'm still me and this is the reality of things no matter how much paranoia I create within myself.

This past week was a trip, a mix between past friends overdo for a visit, old buddies whose shared banter contains reliable relief, and adolescent ones still in the midst of earlier stages too raw to establish into mental drawers. I value social awareness above most things and am beginning to debate that the worst part of difficult times is the blinding power of self attention. Maybe some people are so afraid of commitment to another for the fear of trading in their freedoms of all the bewilderment contained in life for the resolution of making sacrifices to grow old with someone. Before now I thought people were merely giving up on opportunities, whether it was to be with others or pursue a particular life style. It seems a bit cruel that the trade for the abilities of perception and appreciation is the loss of discovery and wonderment, but passion cuts through all of this somewhere in the big picture.

The week Jewish Girl stayed over, Niki told me her first date poop story that I wasn't suppose to repeat to anyone, Evin spoke of melodies and World of Warcraft, Kirstin said the teenage boy she's making out with reminds her of me, Jimmy Gonzales was the only one who got to dance with a random girl, Mike Lange and Kate kept asking if anything was wrong when I was just hungry, and I met Brad's sister, his really nice dog with an exsaturated under-bite and his half shaved cat with arthritis and a heart murmur.

The package said it serves four, I'm still kind of hungry.

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