midnight laundry

2009-07-11 - 1:20 a.m.

This feeling, or longing rather, for companionship is quite different than my norm. Maybe I needed a new perception to get rid of this ridiculous pride. My sternum still hurts sometimes, and other times the bones crack when I sneeze. Maybe it won't be so bad when I suffer the embarrassment of being idly blown off this time. I think I'd embrace the experience more thoroughly if I were to be heartbroken instead of bitter post-the inevitable. I still dislike texting for the most part though, and this relates to what the cousin Allie and I spoke about earlier this week. She claims that she doesn't want things to happen now because her brother died, such as her and her brother Zach spending more time together. I can understand, because it brings about the question, "Why didn't we spend time like this before?" My response was when something this extreme happens to you, or a family of people for that matter, you will react and it's unavoidable. For a while I thought I was much more numb than I truly was because my reactions did not line up with my seemingly picture perfect cognition.

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