bruised legs

2009-10-20 - 12:17 a.m.

Bianca actually opened up a bit tonight, and I'll admit the possibility of me not liking her is scratching at the back of my mind. I miss her though, I miss talking to her and I miss the comfortable silent replies she gives as she falls asleep listening to my voice. She's pretty far away but it's nothing out of our abilities. I thought about Cale's death and how I'd be motivated to do things about it but I've slipped even more. Now I can't shake this ominous feeling of being next, and the only thing I can think about is the regret I'd be filled with, a dilemma I towered over a few years back. I want that freedom of knowing I've accomplished the bull shit things I need to cast off so that the only remains is a pure self ready to offer unto others. If I could give Bianca a shred of enduring hopefulness through any of life's complications, my time left would prove to be insignificant.

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