warning shot

2009-10-26 - 2:37 a.m.

Attempting a patch job on the jeans. I may need to get a bit more motivated to get that other pair now...The distance is becoming less and less bothersome, but I do miss her. I took in love stories today with a genuine perception, or at least somewhat of an understanding that it's possible. I'd like to think I'm strong enough to endure all the parts of sacrifice, but currently I'm struggle with letting go of my self indulgence. I go in fits, I'll let go of this distraction but then I'll go to bed to wake up the next day having to over come the burdens yet again. I debate posting notes and pictures everywhere as reminders, don't forget to break away to make food, eat it, and then clean the kitchen, pay bills, do homework, paint the fixie, watch and return dvds, find ways to let your humanity surface, use glowsticks more often, let the girl get a hold of you even more. I'll risk the appearance of insanity for only one reason taken from a list of many. I have doubt I'd notice them though, and I know better that I need to set two alarms, one by the bed and the other across the apartment. I still daydream about doing great things, even in this selfish mind space of constantly reviewing what I need to do and planning my day about it. Glimpses of alterations trickle down the pestilent routines of the egotistic, and I am in debt to her for that. The things I was motivated to do this weekend were for her, and part of me feels that I need to get motivated for myself as well to keep her around.

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